being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. it means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.

Saturday 21 February 2015

I Can Never Be The Best

Pernah rasa tak yang kita ni tak cukup bagus untuk orang tu? Pernah rasa tak yang kebaikan kita tu tak cukup baik? Pernah rasa tak yang kita takkan pernah jadi yang terbaik?

To be honest, I rasa benda ni all the time and I don't even understand why. Sometimes I rasa I dah give my best tapi orang takkan pernah nampak. In fact orang selalu cakap yang I don't understand the situation la, I ni saja nak create scene la. Tapi orang tak pernah tanya I nak apa or apa yang I rasa. The best thing about being me kan, I never get bored and tired of everything. Walaupun mulut ni cakap dah serik, but I tetap akan be the same old me yang redha je dengan apa yang orang buat.

I have this one friend. She used to be my good good friend. Tapi out of the blue she just disappear macam tu je. Tak contact, tak cari, buat macam I ni strangers. I tak kisah pasal harta benda. Benda yang boleh settle then kita settle. Tapi tak perlu sampai nak jauhkan diri dari I sampai neglect I as if I ni tak pernah jadi kawan rapat.

I tau some of you akan rasa macam "tak perlu kot nak cerita masalah kat public" tapi I tak kisah. You guys wanna know why? Sebab there is no one yang sebenarnya rela hati nak dengar my problems. I can't share with any of my friends sebab most of my friends cuma cari I bila perlu je. So that is why I prefer let it all out kat sini sebab no one gives a shit about my blog.

I bukan jenis perempuan yang pandai put on make ups, do eyebrows, wear fancy accessories, pakai branded stuffs and high heels or even stylish hijab. I am just me -- village people. To be honest, I memang put so much efforts just to impress my boyfriend. Well orang akan cakap I ni desperate but at least I tak kacau sesiapa except for my boyfriend. I perempuan, I insecure all the time especially bila in a long distance relationship. Tapi tu la, sampai bila bila pun I akan rasa yang I belum cukup baik untuk dia. It's not just him, I think tak cukup baik untuk everyone.

Ugh it is so depressing bila fikir benda macam ni. I kinda hate my life.
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